Do vagina's smell?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
did you just send me my own nude
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
