Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
