You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
