Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
