I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
