my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
