Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
