first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
