No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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