Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize