thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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