The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I looked at my own cervix.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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