I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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