U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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