Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
