Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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