My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
