Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
