Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
