You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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