I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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