So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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