Screwed.edu
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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