glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
