Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i came on her dog
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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