Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My life is pants optional.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
