I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
