how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
