but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He did a backflip because drugs
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