well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
