Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
