Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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