So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
