I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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