Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
