the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The air taste purple.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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