I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
