He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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