just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
