Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
