nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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