spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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