Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
