she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think people are normalizing furries
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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