My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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