im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
