***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
