I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
only you would photoshop your dick
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
