wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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