Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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