the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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