I heard we made out
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
