we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
