"it" just moved
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
