How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
