Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
