For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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