Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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