we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize