theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
