she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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