Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
