Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
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We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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