Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
